I've spent the last 3.5 years preparing to be a teacher, and I'm about to be. The thought consumes me, both of excitement and of fear. I have to remind myself to relax and breathe more than I would like to. I feel like once I get in there, however, that it's going to be the perfect match. I filled out my planning book today with dates and the block dates/workdays and days off. Somehow this validated me in my feelings that I can be a teacher. Not sure why... not sure exactly how to use it but...you know.
The days from now until then creep by or race by. I wish there was an in-between.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
students and death.
In ten days, it will have been three years since I've lost my friend in an Avalanche. In ten days, it will also be my birthday. When Patrick died, I was a day into 19, and my life has never quite been the same. While contemplating this fact today, I began to think about the deaths that will inevitably happen when I am a teacher. I continually tell people that the loss of Patrick is a lot harder than the loss of my grandparents. I loved my grandparents, and I miss them a lot, but they were old and have lived a full life...and they were supposed to die. Patrick was 18, and his death came as a total shock to my entire system. Students will face the death of a friend at some point in my teaching career, and I need to be able to help them get through that anguish somehow. The problem? I have no idea how. I don't even know how to get myself through it.
When I was a senior in High School, I lost a classmate in a drunk driving accident. I didn't know him personally (there were over 400 students in my class) but I was still affected by his death. I remembered today that Brandon has a facebook page that was set up by one of his friends our freshmen year of college. Today, there were multiple posts of people writing to tell Brandon that they missed him. Although Brandon doesn't directly get those messages, but I know it makes his friends feel better about his absence.
Every year, I donate money to search and rescue so that perhaps someone else's friend can get pulled out an avalanche alive. I also let my birthday balloons go in hopes that somehow they make it all the way up to mountains in the sky.
Each student will be different, and each death will tough each student differently too. I do think that it is important for teachers to be there for kids when they need someone to talk to. Although we can by no means make the pain go away, we will be able to help kids get through it, as it is a part of life.
Heart shaped tears
Sunshine drips like honey
Over snow-capped mountains
deep breath, girl.
When I was a senior in High School, I lost a classmate in a drunk driving accident. I didn't know him personally (there were over 400 students in my class) but I was still affected by his death. I remembered today that Brandon has a facebook page that was set up by one of his friends our freshmen year of college. Today, there were multiple posts of people writing to tell Brandon that they missed him. Although Brandon doesn't directly get those messages, but I know it makes his friends feel better about his absence.
Every year, I donate money to search and rescue so that perhaps someone else's friend can get pulled out an avalanche alive. I also let my birthday balloons go in hopes that somehow they make it all the way up to mountains in the sky.
Each student will be different, and each death will tough each student differently too. I do think that it is important for teachers to be there for kids when they need someone to talk to. Although we can by no means make the pain go away, we will be able to help kids get through it, as it is a part of life.
Heart shaped tears
Sunshine drips like honey
Over snow-capped mountains
deep breath, girl.
Let go.
Let go of the birthday balloons
so they can become
confetti in heaven.
keep climbing, my friend
help the sun change colors
and the stars find their places
Remember that I love you.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The value of peer editing
I've been working on a paper now for several months regarding Abigail Adams and her place in history. The more I've worked on it, the less I see that is wrong with it, and thus, I run out of things to fix. Tonight I dragged my buddy with me to Starbucks where for the price of a cup of coffee I got a lot of help and insight into my writing.
When I got home, I took a moment to think: it was THIS helpful for me...a college kid who has always written fairly well then how helpful would it be for students in a classroom?
I remember not really liking 'peer editing' but there are ways to make sure that it is helpful for both the writer AND the editor. I think that it will be really important for me to continue to figure out ways for students to understand that it is okay to ask for help from people when it comes to their writing.
How can we as teachers help students to have opportunities to have peers review their writing?
What are some ways that we can encourage students to have others review their writing even when it is not required?
What forms might help students give helpful and insightful comments to other students?
When I got home, I took a moment to think: it was THIS helpful for me...a college kid who has always written fairly well then how helpful would it be for students in a classroom?
I remember not really liking 'peer editing' but there are ways to make sure that it is helpful for both the writer AND the editor. I think that it will be really important for me to continue to figure out ways for students to understand that it is okay to ask for help from people when it comes to their writing.
How can we as teachers help students to have opportunities to have peers review their writing?
What are some ways that we can encourage students to have others review their writing even when it is not required?
What forms might help students give helpful and insightful comments to other students?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The Long Goodbye
So.
I've been coaching a group of lacrosse girls for three years now, and tomorrow is the goodbye.
I started with a team of 35 girls from 5th-8th grade....more than twice the size of number of players that can be on a lacrosse field at once (12). I spent 8 or so hours a week with them trying my best to figure out how to substitute that many players...and how to coach my two goalies and run a team practice all while trying to manage behavior issues and parent communication. I decided if this was going to work, we had to have a team motto, so I created one. We, as a team, ended practice with it every day, and the sounds of my girls will forever resonate in my heart.
"Love each other, work hard, play hard"
Perhaps the moments where we find ourselves falling in love are the most special in our lives...and as we watch the little love grow into an enormous tangled bush it seems impossible to ever get it to let go of anything. If that is how it happens, then I am for sure in love with these girls. I find myself staring at the door with tears ripping my heart to shreds, barely able to turn the handle thinking to myself "you could have prevented this pain".
To my Havoc girls:
Without you, I would not be the person I am today. I have never fallen in love with a group of people as I have fallen in love with you. On my hardest, day I always knew you'd be waiting for me on the lacrosse field, effectively lifting my heart up and back into its usual smile. I admire your hearts - the way you treat each other and the way you have always treated me as well as the way you treat your opponents. Watching you learn to pass and catch, shoot, save, score, and defend has been the highlight of my years in Fort Collins. The proudest moments in my life come not from my own accomplishments, but rather watching you succeed and grow as both players and people. I laugh to myself every time I think of THE practice in the snow where I heard a never ending chorus of "But LIZ! My brother didn't have to go to practice today!" and readily informed you that you were tougher than the boys. I have never smiled in the face of so many 'tricks' or learned so much about sharks, Taylor Swift, fashion, lacrosse, or myself as I have in these past several years. I can't find the right words to express how much I love you all.
<3
I'm not ready yet.
I've been coaching a group of lacrosse girls for three years now, and tomorrow is the goodbye.
I started with a team of 35 girls from 5th-8th grade....more than twice the size of number of players that can be on a lacrosse field at once (12). I spent 8 or so hours a week with them trying my best to figure out how to substitute that many players...and how to coach my two goalies and run a team practice all while trying to manage behavior issues and parent communication. I decided if this was going to work, we had to have a team motto, so I created one. We, as a team, ended practice with it every day, and the sounds of my girls will forever resonate in my heart.
"Love each other, work hard, play hard"
Perhaps the moments where we find ourselves falling in love are the most special in our lives...and as we watch the little love grow into an enormous tangled bush it seems impossible to ever get it to let go of anything. If that is how it happens, then I am for sure in love with these girls. I find myself staring at the door with tears ripping my heart to shreds, barely able to turn the handle thinking to myself "you could have prevented this pain".
To my Havoc girls:
Without you, I would not be the person I am today. I have never fallen in love with a group of people as I have fallen in love with you. On my hardest, day I always knew you'd be waiting for me on the lacrosse field, effectively lifting my heart up and back into its usual smile. I admire your hearts - the way you treat each other and the way you have always treated me as well as the way you treat your opponents. Watching you learn to pass and catch, shoot, save, score, and defend has been the highlight of my years in Fort Collins. The proudest moments in my life come not from my own accomplishments, but rather watching you succeed and grow as both players and people. I laugh to myself every time I think of THE practice in the snow where I heard a never ending chorus of "But LIZ! My brother didn't have to go to practice today!" and readily informed you that you were tougher than the boys. I have never smiled in the face of so many 'tricks' or learned so much about sharks, Taylor Swift, fashion, lacrosse, or myself as I have in these past several years. I can't find the right words to express how much I love you all.
<3
I'm not ready yet.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Reading Speed
I feel like I have about 2348972938472938423 things to learn before I should be allowed in the classroom. However, I'm glad that I don't have to learn that many because then I wouldn't be allowed to teach for at least another 50 years. When I'm in a class of any kind now I notice all kinds of weird things that normal people wouldn't notice. I've always been super observant about tons of things, but I feel like once I put my heart toward education that my brain just takes over and finds things to think about. Today's interesting observation has to do with reading speed. In Methods, we were reading a set of articles/documents and I finished them all in the allotted time. three other students finished close behind me and everyone else was still reading. This made me think of several questions regarding what to do in the classroom when you make kids read.
How do you decide how much time students get to 'read' the material? Too much time, and kids who are finished are bored...too little time and many kids don't get the information you're trying to pass along. When groups of kids begin to finish, they can tend to become bored which leads to behavior that is 'bad' in many cases. How can we create activities to keep the 'finished' kids busy?
Finishing reading things before is not a new phenomenon in my life...in fact I got my lamp taken away from me in elementary school because I would not go to bed due to reading. By 6th grade, my reading level was off the chart, literally, as I was labeled as a 12th+ . Reading does not come easy to all, and some people just read more slowly, and need to, and that is perfectly fine. But, it makes in-class reading a difficult thing to balance.
I have no idea what the answer is to this - which is normal since I rarely know the answers to things that I want to know the answer to. Just something to think about.
How do you decide how much time students get to 'read' the material? Too much time, and kids who are finished are bored...too little time and many kids don't get the information you're trying to pass along. When groups of kids begin to finish, they can tend to become bored which leads to behavior that is 'bad' in many cases. How can we create activities to keep the 'finished' kids busy?
Finishing reading things before is not a new phenomenon in my life...in fact I got my lamp taken away from me in elementary school because I would not go to bed due to reading. By 6th grade, my reading level was off the chart, literally, as I was labeled as a 12th+ . Reading does not come easy to all, and some people just read more slowly, and need to, and that is perfectly fine. But, it makes in-class reading a difficult thing to balance.
I have no idea what the answer is to this - which is normal since I rarely know the answers to things that I want to know the answer to. Just something to think about.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Role Model-ization
I think that we, as adults (I still have yet to actually accept this role completely. To myself I am still little enough to not be the "a" word...) often forget that we are important role models for kids. I am in the process of speaking with one of my lacrosse kids via IM, and she just told me that I'm her hero. That means more to me than I ever have hope of expressing through words...especially written words...but it made me think of a lot of things. I didn't set out to be her hero - just her coach. It was my goal to make sure that she was the best goalie that she could be, that she learned to love lacrosse, and enjoyed spending time with her team. I'm leaving a set of girls that I've grown really close to now (my going-away party is next week) and it tears me up inside. But, I think that for some of them ... losing me is harder on them than it is for me to lose them. She is worried if I'll remember them - and her, and will I tell my new teams about her and the team? It got me thinking of the role models and heroes I had when I was in middle and high school...and I think that these people are who I owe my life as it is now to in many ways...
Mr. Perfors, Mr. Kipp, and Mr. Gorr - A whole host of fantastic history teachers that made me love the subject and helped me develop confidence in myself.
Russ- A former music teacher who worked with me a lot in marching band...and was always a great friend to me. He's now the dean at the school that I'll be working at, which rocks!
Sean- My lacrosse coach who always pushed me to be my best and even wiped away my tears when I was one of the last kids cut from Team Colorado.
Although there were many more...these five men really helped shape who I am, and I am thankful for that.
I think that teachers need to make sure that they're helping kids when they need it. Kids have tough days (and tough months, years, and lives) and they often need someone to help them get up on their feet and stay there. I want to strive to be that person as often as I can.
Mr. Perfors, Mr. Kipp, and Mr. Gorr - A whole host of fantastic history teachers that made me love the subject and helped me develop confidence in myself.
Russ- A former music teacher who worked with me a lot in marching band...and was always a great friend to me. He's now the dean at the school that I'll be working at, which rocks!
Sean- My lacrosse coach who always pushed me to be my best and even wiped away my tears when I was one of the last kids cut from Team Colorado.
Although there were many more...these five men really helped shape who I am, and I am thankful for that.
I think that teachers need to make sure that they're helping kids when they need it. Kids have tough days (and tough months, years, and lives) and they often need someone to help them get up on their feet and stay there. I want to strive to be that person as often as I can.
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