The Long Goodbye

So.
I've been coaching a group of lacrosse girls for three years now, and tomorrow is the goodbye.

I started with a team of 35 girls from 5th-8th grade....more than twice the size of number of players that can be on a lacrosse field at once (12). I spent 8 or so hours a week with them trying my best to figure out how to substitute that many players...and how to coach my two goalies and run a team practice all while trying to manage behavior issues and parent communication. I decided if this was going to work, we had to have a team motto, so I created one. We, as a team, ended practice with it every day, and the sounds of my girls will forever resonate in my heart.

"Love each other, work hard, play hard"

Perhaps the moments where we find ourselves falling in love are the most special in our lives...and as we watch the little love grow into an enormous tangled bush it seems impossible to ever get it to let go of anything. If that is how it happens, then I am for sure in love with these girls. I find myself staring at the door with tears ripping my heart to shreds, barely able to turn the handle thinking to myself "you could have prevented this pain".

To my Havoc girls:
Without you, I would not be the person I am today. I have never fallen in love with a group of people as I have fallen in love with you. On my hardest, day I always knew you'd be waiting for me on the lacrosse field, effectively lifting my heart up and back into its usual smile. I admire your hearts - the way you treat each other and the way you have always treated me as well as the way you treat your opponents. Watching you learn to pass and catch, shoot, save, score, and defend has been the highlight of my years in Fort Collins. The proudest moments in my life come not from my own accomplishments, but rather watching you succeed and grow as both players and people. I laugh to myself every time I think of THE practice in the snow where I heard a never ending chorus of "But LIZ! My brother didn't have to go to practice today!" and readily informed you that you were tougher than the boys. I have never smiled in the face of so many 'tricks' or learned so much about sharks, Taylor Swift, fashion, lacrosse, or myself as I have in these past several years. I can't find the right words to express how much I love you all.

<3


I'm not ready yet.